What message is your body believing?
Last week, I went shopping for a black dress. That was quite an experience! My trip through the mall went something like: legs, cleavage, lingerie, cleavage, legs, cleavage, legs, legs, bras, lingerie, minskirt, hooker heels, legs… You get the idea. Definitely not guy-friendly terrain.
It reminded me of a quote I read from Hugh Hefner. He said
The notion that Playboy turns women into sex objects is ridiculous. Women are sex objects. If women weren’t sex objects, there wouldn’t be another generation. It’s the attraction between the sexes that makes the world go ’round. That’s why women wear lipstick and short skirts.
I would like to propose that women wear lipstick and short skirts because the world tells them they have to because the world has adopted Hugh’s mindset toward women. It just so happens that this is the mindset promoted by pornography as well. When a woman watches pornography, these are the lies she is being brainwashed to believe.
Being a sex object is now the ‘easy way’ in life. It’s all they sell any more. It’s all they sing about. It’s all they believe women can be.
What if there were a billboard that said, “The world wants you to know that all you are is a sex object. You are only worth what others appraise to be the value of your body.” I would hope people would be outraged, but that is the message being conveyed everyday through our commercials and store windows.
Is modesty even worth the hassle anymore?
And believe me, it was a hassle. The dress actually turned out to be the easy part. After trying on 8 different dresses (too tight, too low, too short, too short, no way…) I settled on a 3/4 sleeve tea length black dress with a little flow in the skirt. “I should get new shoes for this,” I thought. I headed to the shoe store looking for a three inch or so heel on a nice black dress shoe.
Apparently, I’m not up on fashion trends because I had two options. One was a crinkly ballet flat that looked like a house slipper. The others were heels alright. I nicknamed them hooker heels. I already stand 5 foot 7. I do not, by any means, need a six inch, platform black heel that looks like it should come with a complimentary pole. No thank you. I walked out empty handed from the shoe store.
It made me think, though. It’s no wonder we face the battle of purity that we do when the world dresses us like this for battle.
Our call: Fight back (fully clothed)
I settled on an old pair of ruby red heels I have that matched well with the ruby red necklace I bought during my three hours of mall-walking. I ran over to my P’api’s house to get his approval (he’s like a dad to me). He took my hand and spun me around. My black skirt swayed and spun, and I found myself smiling from ruby red earring to ruby red earring. “Magnificent,” he said (it’s one of his trademark words). “You are going to steal the show.”
But more than his approval, I sought out the eyes of a young woman currently staying in their home. A young woman who I have watched dress believing the lies that she has to dress sexy. She peeked around a corner and her eyes grew wide. She didn’t say anything, and my heart sunk for a bit. I had to leave quickly, but later I found out that when P’api’s wife got home, this young woman said to her, “Miss Jessica looked so beautiful.” It opened up an opportunity for them to all talk about modesty, and, I found out, she went through her wardrobe throwing out all of the immodest clothes.
The idea that women are sex objects is the biggest assault to our womanhood.
We weren’t created to be sexy. We were created to be beautiful, and yes, there is a difference.
Remember that billboard that we see everyday as we walk by mall windows or watch TV shows? What if there were a billboard that said, “You don’t have to be sexy to be beautiful. You don’t have to be sexy to have love.” What kind of hope would that billboard bring?
That is the truth. THAT is how God feels about us. We don’t have to be sexy for Him. We don’t even have to be sexy for men. There is only one person I will ever again worry about being sexy for and he isn’t here. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be beautiful. I can be beautiful and I can be modest. That is a possibility, but it takes work and time to maintain. Is it worth it to you?
It all boils down to what message you are willing to fight for. What message does your body believe?
Do you settle for the lie that women are only good for one thing or do you choose to believe that you are worth more than a $5 tube of lipstick and a $10 miniskirt?
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.