I am 27 and still a virgin. What do I do?
I couldn’t even tell you how I came across the ‘advice’ column. It was an online spin off the “Dear Abby” I used to read in the newspaper, and the question, obviously caught my intention. I was interested to see what this so-called ‘expert’ had to say to this “poor” woman.
Her response was sickening.
She dared the reader to meet a new man everyday for the next 27 days. She had to introduce herself, get his name, have him sign an affidavit and then take a picture with him. Each day she had to send the picture and signed affidavit to this expert. Then, if she did, the expert was going to pay for a nice fancy evening out and a hotel room because she was convinced that the reader would find someone she clicked with and would be romping around in the sheets in no time, thereby solving her virginity problem.
Pardon me for being confused, but since when was virginity a ‘problem?’ Have we seriously degraded and casualized sex so much that virginity is more of a problem than STDs? Really?
Months ago, I was flipping channels and I came across a game show hosted by an old talk show host. Trying to figure out what exactly was going on, I stayed on the channel for a while. Basically, a single man was there looking for true love. The very ‘wise’ (and sadistic) show producers had scoured the earth to find three (apparently desperate) single women for him to choose from. Here’s the catch. Each of these women had baggage. Don’t we all?
These women, however, were forced to air their dirty laundry on national television and then Mr. Maybe had the power to either accept or reject their baggage. What a twisted view of forgiveness and grace! If he accepted her baggage, a woman moved on to the next round.
This particular man finally chooses a woman, but here’s the catch. Now he has to reveal his own baggage to see if she will return the forgiveness and acceptance. She had some pretty intense baggage that he had been willing to accept. His baggage: “I am the real 40 year old virgin.”
Here was a man who had somehow, someway managed to make it to 40 without ever being in bed with a woman. If that had been presented to me as his baggage, I would have been ecstatic. That is no baggage at all.
The killer: she rejected him based on that baggage.
The world’s take on life is extremely twisted. When a woman isn’t willing to accept a man because he believes in her enough to wait for her, something is wrong. When a woman feels that her intact virginity is a problem to overcome, we have a bigger problem.
This is why we are told to not be conformed to this world. The world is consumed with sex. I watched a documentary last night that chronicled the “past 5 million years of our evolutionary cycle.” Its basic conclusion was that we evolved ourselves into ‘sex machines’ and that our only (yes, only) purpose of life is to have sex- thereby fulfilling the primary evolutionary command: Reproduce.
Couple problems there.
1) I didn’t know evolution had commands; funny how that one closely resembles God’s first command to us (“Be fruitful and multiply…” ring any bells?)
2) If sex is all there is to life… I don’t even know what to say to that. No wonder we are where we are.
As Christians, we don’t fit this mold. In fact, we break it. When we live life in a surrendered purity, in a strength that says, “I will not compromise my integrity and I’m still going to live an abundant life” we shatter that mold.
Be willing to be a mold-breaker.