Let me be very very very (and if that wasn’t enough- let’s throw another one in there– very) clear about something.  Women struggling in pornography should not buy stock in psychobabble, self-reliance, empowerment, pro-feminist jargon.

This is in response to a string of comments left on here that attacked myself and women who have responded on here, telling us that truth is a matter of opinion and that right and wrong are in the eye of the beholder and that if there is such a thing as sin, we need to get a new God.

My question.

Why on earth are you on this site?

My response.

You’re wrong.  And that is not a matter of opinion.

If there is no truth, then there is no right and wrong.  Our conscience begs to differ with that, as most of us would agree that murder is morally wrong.  It isn’t wrong because society told us so, it is wrong because we know so.  We know so because God wired us to know so. 

Women look at pornography and are riddled with guilt not because society sees pornography as an unacceptable female activity but because it defies everything we are as women.

So many people look at right and wrong as a bad thing.  It isn’t a bad thing that there is a difference!  If I looked at sin from this twisted vantage point that God sits in Heaven like Zeus just waiting to chuck lightning bolts at those who mess up, well then I wouldn’t want there to be a right or wrong either.  But that isn’t God, at least not the God I know, love and follow. 

The God I know, love and follow is Holy, Just, Righteous, Full of Mercy, and is Truth. Period.  I am not truth.  In fact, me trying to be truth is probably one of the things that got me into pornography to begin with.  And while, yes, there is this crazy unreachable standard of holiness that He raises for us, He backs that up with this crazy unfathomable love that forgives us for falling short.  It doesn’t lower the standard, it gives us a stool to stand on so we can stretch toward it.  Truth doesn’t change.

We cannot rely on ourselves to break free from a lust addiction.  We can’t say that our addiction just comes from an incorrect opinion of right and wrong.   We can’t say that once we view pornography correctly we will stop viewing it period.  That’s ridiculous and the hundreds of women who are involved in pornography, know it’s wrong and can’t seem to get out are proof of that.  The reality of sin paves the way for the reality of grace.  My humanity reveals my need for God and without Him, I’m not going to get anywhere.

The biggest obstacle in our way is us.  Our pride.  We bow down and worship the god of self.  This is all about us.  It’s about our pleasure.  Our desires.  Our needs. Our wants and satisfying them when we want and how we want and however often we want. 

And that. is. wrong.

It’s the truth, and it isn’t pretty.  It isn’t soft and easy.  It can be painful, but at the same time there is so much healing because right on the tail of that truth that what we are doing is wrong, is the truth that God is quick to forgive those who ask Him.  That’s the whole truth.